As I reread this post, I realized a noticable change in the mood. Waking up in the middle of the night, I was tired and grumpy, and frustrated with myself. Now that it's finished, I feel more at ease and excited to implement the lessons I learned while writing this. I hope you can feel that the love I feel for the kids I work with isn't conditional on their attitudes or behaviors. It's based on the positive qualities I see in them: ability to make others laugh, sticking up for a friend, telling the truth even when it's hard, noticing when their actions make another kid's day rough.
Without further ado, here's my therapeutic post!
Last month I started working at the Boys and Girls Club again. Every job has its ups and downs. Since I started, it seems like Wednesdays have been the hardest days for the kids and for me. After the "adventures" of last Wednesday, my coworker quit, leaving just me with 22 kindergartner-2nd graders. It's strange to think it's only been a week.
I realized that I need to take initiative in finding, developing, and deepening my patience. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling unsettled about how I'd handled the "Wednesday Situation" yesterday. As I stewed over things, I searched for a new perspective and found this video. It's worth the time. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=654QGjYHlJY
I know that these children I work with are God's crowning creation. It is for them that He built this earth. He is patient with them just as He is patient with me. Being with these kids is an opportunity for me to not only learn but internalize a few things. First being how to see the best in a situation and to redirect my natural reactions. Thinking positively is something I haven't had to work very had at my while life; it's always been quite natural to me. But what I want to do is work on noticing when I'm reacting to a situation, and consciously deciding to react with patience and love. Second skill I'm learning/improving is coming up with positive consequences for positive actions. I want to focus on the successes of these boys and girls. I feel as if the natural reaction (back to skill 1 I'm working on) is to give direct attention to negative behavior, and to casually compliment positive behavior. I want to change this.
Over that last month, I've come to love these kids and to care about their lives and how others treat them. Quirks and all, they all have a natural ability to love easily which can ease my most difficult days. I'm glad I get to be with them and learn from them and from working with them.
